I am a better person when I have less on my plate. – Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

This may surprise you, but being tall and big-boned, loving food and ranging from a little to a lot overweight through the years caused me to build a ridiculous defense to the above type of statement. I’d think, So, because I typically have more food on my plate than you do, you’re a better person than I am?! In my defense, people can be brutal! I’ve experienced both sides of the spectrum, having been small enough to get “special treatment” (mainly from the menfolk), then being big enough to be treated poorly because of it. There really is a drastic difference. (I’ve always been a bit over-sensitive, so I admit I’ve probably been affected by this more than others might be.) Needless to say, I’ve wasted quite a bit of energy feeling angry about this sort of thing. I can’t stress enough just how many of these comments and situations I’ve stacked on my shoulders.

Luckily, I’m getting older. And with getting older, I’m getting wiser. You see, I automatically assumed the speaker of the quote above was judging me by saying that statement. But, she wasn’t comparing herself to me! She was comparing herself to the version of her that was out of control. This woman doesn’t even know me! Ok, well. When I look at it that way, she’s totally not being bitchy or judgmental at all.

You see the problem here? I do. How selfish of me to think she would even care how much food I’m eating. I’m so caught up in my own insecurities and guilt, that I’m missing the whole point. Fact is, if one is the type to get out of control when eating food, then the above statement is totally valid. And furthermore, the statement is totally true about me!

I’ve lost some weight and guess how I did it? By having less food on my plate. I’m healthier and happier when I’m in control. I am a better person.

I’m sorry to all the people I’ve felt unwarranted anger towards. You most likely could care less what weight I am and if I tower over you.

I really need to get a grip.